It’s been almost a year, time really flies when you’re focused I guess.
Today we are talking about STRESS.
Simply put, stress is a fight or flight response to events in our lives we see as challenges. Maybe we are unsure of how to progress through these challenges, take them on with a sword in one hand and a shield in the other, or watch our stress float away on a delicate puffy cloud, as we lay in a yellow and white daisy flowered field of our own confidence.
Stress does funny things to people. In reality, it motivates people in one direction or another, pushing us to rise to our feet or run away from our fears. Being consistently stressed can lead to burnout, depression, and loss of confidence. It can diminish and deplete you like a deflated balloon, sunken into an aged oak tree. Not feeling stress is blissful but may mean that, as I experienced at one point, there may not be enough challenges driving you forward. If you can feel stress, see a path through, find how you can develop, learn and grow, you have really learned how stress is nothing more than a feeling, which will pass.
Your reactions to challenges you face and how you treat those that help you through will define you, not the feelings that flow through your conscience.
Stress has become easier to find over the past year. We have all been through personal and social trials and tribulations, seeing ourselves change so quickly. To be frank, the pandemic is something we have all had to work through, some have lost lives, some have lost jobs, some have lost relationships; what motivated us to keep going?
When the Black Lives Matter movement started last year, I felt so emotionally drained and frustrated, angered and deeply saddened by the lack of support I felt from those who are trained to protect people, instead they choose violence when they should have used their words. When people began to protest I watched, in pain, in solidarity with the idea for social justice reform, I am an ally and support how I can. I am sure many others have felt this pain.
When we began to work from home, we imagined a more relaxed work environment with more pressure to perform. Top half ready and bottom half relaxed (think dress shirt and sweats). Work became more intense, management felt out of control, stressed they couldn’t watch production with a ‘hands-on’ approach. People were huddled into a work environment driven by fear of loss, causing them to work longer hours with less personal interaction; in short we’re burnt out.
Being so close to some and simultaneously separated from others created boundaries we were unaware of holding in our relationships. We missed our friends, reached out to those we hadn’t spoken with in a while, tried to create connections, we were lonely. We found out who cared and who didn’t, who people really were when they weren’t living for the camera. We found out who found motivation on their own and who belittle others for whatever reason they believed they should. People have really shown their true colors.
Where have you seen yourself, where has your stress manifested and appeared to motivate or derail you?
What have you been able to change and develop? Where have you let go? How have you accepted others' faults that cause you anxiety? How have you made stress into a small ball of fluff that can comfort you or make you itch?
Our reactions to stress show what type of people we really are, what our previous experiences have taught us and how we can learn to cope. Some people internalize their stress, it may look like someone who is being extra quiet while the rest of the room is boasting with energy. Internalized stress can build and build and may even implode for a person, leaving them overcome with a flood of repressed emotions. Why do we demonize stress, it’s a driver? We even rationalize separation from others in order to manage our own person. But really, what will this do? It will cause us more pain and push us from our relationships, and enjoyable life experiences. Some internalize, pain and then eventually project into other facets of their life leaving them stranded before they know what they’ve done.
So how do you show stress, do you show stress? Personally, I feel stress from so many parts of my life, and past experiences, some more scarring than others. These experiences taught me about who I was, what I would become; finding how to work through poisonous relationships, both friendly and romantic, understanding who is on your team, knowing that the world is actually quite beautiful and a gift to those who know how to interpret its messages, and teaching me to understand that time heals all wounds, no matter how painful.
Now, I learn to communicate, I learn to listen to others when they speak and my surroundings, and I learn to speak carefully, treading lightly -- selectively trusting. I learn this everyday. Trying to destress without addressing the problem directly led me to run around the thoughts in my head constantly, and eventually caused me to physically run from my problems.
Change is inevitable, it was time to change my habits and change the thought process, time to ADDRESS THE STRESS.
All the hobbies I took up to distract myself have now become a fun time away while never distracting from the problem, some of them lead me to focus on the problem and source a logical solution with little effort. Those hobbies: writing my revelations, cooking delectable dinners and treats for loved ones, stretching for focus and breath, finding friends to meet and laugh with, sweating the hard stuff away, searching for a new favorite hideaway, and painting for deep focus, all lead me to develop and become a more complete person. They did not take away the stress. Focusing on the root of my issues and finding how I internalized the pain, running to escape and pushing away the people I loved until I could no longer be alone, made me understand I can’t run away from my stress. It will only sit with me and grow. I had to face it head on and share my troubles. People don’t know what you’re thinking, so share your story, cry, laugh, and learn to love your change and progression.